08 December, 2011

Things Said in Media that Warrant a Gong

        Remember The Gong Show?  For the young or short of memory, a quick synopsis.  The Gong Show was game show (of sorts...  it was kind of Kaufmanesque* in that it was all sort of a joke) in which people would exhibit their talents to a panel of "celebrities"  When the performer was particularly bad, the celebs would bang a gong to get them off the stage.  Since the days of seeing this show, which I loved, I have often wished for a gong.  I would wheel it around, and every time someone annoyed me with a idiotic corporate speak catchphrase (outside the box), or an abbreviated word for the purpose of cutseyness (delish), I'd bang the gong.  "Hey Brooks,  we were supposed to meet downtown at 8, but I have a bit of a sitch..."  GONG GONG GONG! 

    I am going to co-opt the idea to expose hackneyed attempts at writing that have been done a million times before (see below).  I'm banging the gong, dude. 

    Today's example...  in any suspenseful situation in film or television, when the protagonist says "how do I know I can trust you?", the antagonist is going to say "you don't".  GONG!  It just happened on Ringer (heh...  GONG!  Ringer.), and I have JUST decided to never watch this show again.  The Buffy statute of limitations just ran out.  This show sucks.

*It occurs ro me that if you don't know The Gong Show, that you probably won't get Kaufmanesque, either.  Andy Kaufman.  Look him up.  Yeah...  Jim Carrey played him in a movie once.  That one Carrey movie you hated.

Hey There, Crashy... wherein I make a purposeful attempt to break the hold of writer's block

    Okay, it's been a while, but I've been busy. Now, busy is relative. The last time I stopped writing, I wasn't doing ANYTHING. Literally. I wasn't working, I wasn't writing. I wasn't listening to music. I wasn't doing anything. In fact, if you want a fairly accurate picture of my life 2008 - 2010, just imagine a guy running in place. Without all that running. I gained about 100 pounds, drank up most of Roanoke's alcohol, and found a way to piss off most everyone who ever spoke to me. I ROCK! Curtain falls, time passes... I found true love, got married, found a decent job, and essentially tried to stabilize my life. I also lost most of that 100 pounds. Stress and kitchen work, best diet plan ever.

    So, mostly that plan is working... I love my wife, I like my job, and life is improving by leaps and bounds. Now I need to remember how to be creative. I want to write again, and sing again. And I will... and you, my one reader (assuming I still have one) will be the first to witness my attempts.

    I've started and restarted this blog more times than I can count. I make no promises this time. I will make every effort to write SOMETHING everyday. It may be funny, poignant, or utterly stupid. Maybe sometimes all three. If it sucks, turn the channel... the internet is a big place. Mostly, it sucks time away from worthwhile things.   I'm gonna try to make something worthwhile.

25 January, 2011

Inconsistency and other inconsistencies...

Since I am ungainfully unemployed yet again, it seems as good a time as any to type out what is wandering around in my cranium. I have had difficulty maintaining any consistent writing these past few years. Where once I would write at least a bit daily, lately I can't seem to make that happen. It isn't as though I have nothing to say, I just don't put anything down on paper, or into the computer bloggy thingy. Part of that, these days, is due to the fact that I have found a partner that I enjoy talking to. This is a fairly amazing event for me. Oh, I have had plenty of partners, but talking to them wasn't necessarily part of the job description. So I tend to blather on these days and I have someone around that enjoys (or pretends to enjoy... heh... ) listening.

That said, I am going to make an effort to put some things into print. And you, my dear reader (all one of you) will have something new to pay attention to. Perhaps. Promises, promises...